Actress Marissa Jaret Winokur. Photo Credit: Kyle Christy/TLC.

Actress Marissa Jaret Winokur. Photo Credit: Kyle Christy/TLC.

GALO: A question that was raised on the show was whether women should have sex on the first date or wait. You responded by saying you thought that age is a factor in this decision, and that women in their 20s should wait a little, but if you’re in your 40s, you should get on with it. In the age where sex is almost always expected after the first date (or even during the first), why do you think it is important for women in their 20s to hold off for a bit?

MJW: Yeah I do. I wish I waited more in my 20s. I definitely jumped into the fad way too fast in my 20s. I genuinely was the girl who if you had sex with the first night, I was like: “we’re getting married. I love you.” I fell in love with every guy that I had sex with. I was that girl — the “oh no, you don’t want to have sex with me on the first date because I’m going to be stalking you” type of girl. I also feel like if I were single now and I was dating, I would be having so much more sex because I would be like, “what am I waiting for,” you know? Just as long as you’re safe and protected, [it is fine]. But I do wish I waited more in my 20s because I didn’t emotionally understand what I was doing. Whereas now, I would definitely feel like I’m more emotionally stable, even though I don’t sound like I am — I totally do feel like I am.

GALO: So do you think that it’s important for other women in their 20s to hold off as well?

MJW: Yeah, I think you should. I think you shouldn’t have sex on the first date when you’re younger. My girlfriends that are having sex in their 20s are unsafe and they’re not using protection, and I constantly feel like I’m just a grandma being like, “you have to use protection! What are you doing?” You have to keep your wits about you a little more when you’re a little younger. That’s a card — when you’re younger that’s your “going-to-get-a-second-date” card. So don’t play that card on the first date.

GALO: Your co-host, Margaret Cho, is hilarious. She has some of the craziest sex stories I’ve ever heard, and with her recent controversial North Korean general impression at the Golden Globes, I can tell that she is not one who is afraid to speak her mind. What is it like working with her on the show?

MJW: She’s not afraid to speak her mind. She is an amazing comedian and she’s an amazing woman. She’s very open and very honest. She is who she is. I feel like she’s leading the charge of the sexual revolution. She is everything. Even when the other girls make fun of me for not having sex, she’s not making fun of me. She said to me, “I admire how intimate you are. You love your son and I admire that. I’m looking for that.” I just love her and I think she’s a remarkable woman and an amazing role model.

If you believe in what she does — sexually or not, I don’t care — she’s true to herself and she does what she wants to do. I think she’s a true feminist, because she does what she wants. I feel like a lot of times, people feel like feminism is one thing, but I think that being a true feminist is doing exactly what you want with your body, and not letting anyone tell you or dictate what you do. If you want to have plastic surgery and if you want to dye your hair, that doesn’t make you less of a feminist. I think doing whatever you want and being true to yourself is what a true feminist is.

GALO: You were recently in a movie called Muffin Top: a love story in which you played the character of Elise, a friend of Suzanne’s (Cathryn Michon) who studies images of women in the media for a living. She is made to feel insecure by the floods of slim, airbrushed women who are deemed perfect by the media. Soon, Suzanne’s husband impregnates a much younger co-worker, which really takes a toll on the way she views herself. The movie documents her journey to happiness, which includes a tummy tuck and lip injections gone wrong. What drew you to this movie, and how do you think it speaks to the struggle women go through to achieve sometimes unrealistic beauty standards set by the media?

MJW: This movie, I was proud to be a part of it. I’m honored to be a part of it. I read the script and there were genuinely 10 roles that I could’ve played — and normally, I read a role and I’m like, “oh, there’s the funny fat girl. That’s the one part I could play, you know?” Whereas this was just a film with funny women — true, honest people who are amazing and funny characters. Women’s characters are so hard and they don’t come by very often, so I was so excited to be offered a part in this movie. It really represents all women. It’s a romantic comedy. It’s like Bridget Jones or My Big Fat Greek Wedding. And you can see it on demand right now! It shows you that you have to love yourself now, not 5lbs from now. It is like, “love your body, wherever it is [at]. Don’t change to get a guy to love you, that’s silly.” Its stuff we all know, but unfortunately [something we] don’t live by — and just being a part of this movie really inspired me to write a book about it, and to really get involved in the plus-size movement and in just making people feel good. We spend so much time beating ourselves up just to fit some silly role model or some image that none of us can be.

In the movie, they talk about how 96 percent of women think four negative thoughts about their body daily, and you’re like, “Oh my god! That’s it?! I think like 10 negative thoughts before 10 o’clock in the morning!” Just one percent of the women are supermodels, so it’s like, everybody else is normal — so stop trying to be something that we can’t be and embrace yourself. I feel like there’s a big movement of that happening right now, like the whole “loving our booty” thing. If you don’t have a big butt right now, you’re out of style. I’m embracing this time very, very much.

GALO: Have you ever felt any pressure to change in order to fit these unrealistic standards in the industry?        

MJW: I have. Oh my gosh! I feel pressure on a daily basis from myself and from the industry. I had lost 60lbs and thought, ‘oh, this is going to magically make everything better. I’m going to get jobs that I’ve never gotten. People are going to love me, and people are going to hire me for things that they’ve not hired me for before.’ I lost all the weight and then I was like, “Oh no, it’s all the same.” Like, nobody cares. So I gained back 20lbs and now I’m happily in the middle. I’m just like, “this is where I’ve got to be.” I’m finally, for the first time in my life, fulfilling who I am — that aspect of “this is I who I am, take it or leave it.” I kept changing to try to fit in, but what’s fitting in? The minute I lost weight, there were 10 roles for plus-size girls, and then I couldn’t get them. And then when I gained weight, they wanted someone skinny. As an actress, you just have to do what you do, and hope that the universe ships me out another Tracy Turnblad.

GALO: Funny that you bring that up as I wanted to briefly discuss it. I know that landing the lead role in Hairspray was no easy feat. It required singing, dancing and being on stage in nearly every scene. Do you think this prepared you at all for Dancing with the Stars? Which one out of the two was the most difficult for you and why?

MJW: Hairspray was the dream. I grew up only wanting to do Broadway. I wanted to be a Broadway star — that’s all I wanted to do. Dancing with the Stars was like the icing on the cake. Dancing with the Stars was mentally harder, whereas Hairspray was emotionally harder. Hairspray was like that moment when you finally reach your goals and your dreams and you want everything to be perfect and wonderful. And then I won a Tony award, and it was magical; it was everything I could’ve dreamt for it to be.

Whereas Dancing with the Stars was like, “Oh my God, this is so stressful.” I’m learning to dance and I was on it during season six where it was like 25 million people watching me live every night, and they’re wondering how I am going to mess this up — and so, during that time, I felt like I was going mentally [screams] crazy. And my surrogate was pregnant at the time, so I was about to have a baby.

Every job I’ve had after Hairspray has been just — I’m happy to do it; it is fun! Even All About Sex. It’s like, it is all great; it is all fun. I’ve lived the dream, so now I get to have some fun.

GALO: After All About Sex, and everything else you’ve been doing, what is next for you in the future?

MJW: We’re shooting Playing House really soon. It’s on USA. It’s a great show. Jessica St. Clair and Lennon Parham are the funniest two women. I admire them so much. I’m just so proud to be a part of that show. That starts back up soon enough. And I’m writing a book right now, so that’s what’s happening.

GALO: Sounds like you’re keeping busy! What is the book about?

MJW: It’s a body image, weight loss, feel good, women empowerment [type of book] — all of the good stuff, with a lot of funny stories of my ups and downs of dieting.

GALO: Anything else you would like to add?

MJW: Watch everything I do all the time! [Laughter]


Video courtesy of TLC.

Catch Marissa Jaret Winokur on TLC’s “All About Sex” on Saturday’s at 11/10c. For more information about Marissa Jaret Winokur and her upcoming projects, you can visit her official Web site or follow her on Twitter @MarissaJWinokur.