‘Before You Know It’: A Peculiar, Fascinating Glimpse at the Aged Gay Experience
P.J. Raval’s new film, Before You Know It, is an exercise in acute, undiluted emotion. It drops you into the lives of three disparate men who all happen to be gay seniors (a subset of the population most viewers almost certainly haven’t thought about) and it does so without the varnish of commentary, making it a pure look at the difficulties of age and isolation as well as the grit required to combat both. And although the film doesn’t expand the argument against political and social restraints on gay marriage, the experiences enjoyed and often endured by these men are sometimes poignant, other times reassuring, and always worthy of consideration.
First we’re introduced to Dennis Creamer, a 72-year-old Air Force veteran who started questioning his sexual identity years ago and whose alter-ego is a fashionable woman named “Dee.” Next is Ty Martin, a Navy veteran and tireless advocate for LGBT seniors in Harlem (he works as the outreach manager for SAGE — Services and Advocacy for LGBT Elders). Finally there’s Robert “The Mouth” Mainer, a garrulous bar owner who enjoys attaching a wobbly prosthetic penis to his nose and dipping it in thick, yellow liquid to watch it dribble off the tip (and onto the occasional patron). Exposure to the mere existence of these men is entertaining, and their vibrant personalities are made all the richer by the challenges they face.
All three are strikingly accessible and forthcoming, and ample time is spent getting to know the intricacies of each man’s life. Raval masterfully illuminates the nuances of their experiences, from the joyous and humorous to the devastating and mundane. For someone with such an eclectic career, Raval is uncommonly gifted at drawing candor from his subjects, giving us a genuine look at their lives. His work spans a decade and a half, and he’s spent much of it as a cinematographer. He manned the camera for Trouble the Water (which was nominated for an Academy Award in 2009), The Devil Came on Horseback, Troop 1500 and Dirt, among many others. He’s worked in the same vein on a number of feature films, including The Bounceback, Sunset Stories, Habibi and The Cassidy Kids. Besides for a number of short narratives, music videos and digitally animated shorts, his only other feature-length directorial effort was Trinidad in 2008. Trinidad won the award for “best documentary Showtime broadcast” at the 2009 Cleveland International Film Festival and it was selected for a long list of other festivals. Given his lack of experience directing full-length documentaries, Before You Know It is a consummate effort and a clear indication that Raval is a filmmaker of account.
Among the most salient purposes of cinema (documentary filmmaking in particular) is the texturization of underrepresented segments of the population. Before You Know It does this with excruciating honesty. One of the film’s most difficult moments comes only five minutes after it begins. Dennis talks about his wife and the bewildering aimlessness he experienced after her death. Then he flatly tells us, “Just at some point in time I realized, I don’t want to die. I was pretty close to, you know, offing myself.” Dennis constantly seems to be fending off the drudgery of what he calls a “very ordinary life.” When he talks about sex or transforms into Dee, he does so almost grudgingly, as if some unseen force is coercing him. Whether this is due to his personality or the creeping specter of age is unclear, but the portrait of a man in peril is painfully vivid.
Dennis is never boisterous like Robert or sharp and hot-tempered like Ty. He finds some measure of solace at a gay-friendly senior center in Oregon, but the rejection from his family and the incessant adversity that attends his life is never far from his mind. Upon returning to his trailer home in Florida near the end of the film, he discovers that the water had been left running. Festering patches of mold blanket huge swathes of the walls and ceilings. After surveying the damage, he decides it’s time to move out (presumably back to Rainbow Vista, the retirement community in Oregon). As he’s packing, he comes across a picture of his family and says, “I don’t think my family will miss me much. I didn’t get so much as a Christmas card from them. I don’t think they really care if I’m gay or straight or dead or what, you know?” But there’s never a quiver of hatred in his voice or the shadow of a grimace when people gawk at him in the street. Dennis is only beginning to acclimate himself to the boldness required to be Dee, and much of his story is about his burgeoning confidence. He even says, “Now I’m comfortable, as far as I’m concerned. If society doesn’t like it, then it’s too bad for society.” Still, he certainly doesn’t look comfortable as he makes his way unescorted through pitiless crowds at bars and even on a gay cruise. Mike Simpson’s brilliant cinematography exhibits Dennis’ detachment with lengthy, withdrawn shots and well-concealed camerawork.
These are the struggles Raval so adeptly captures, and while they’re always affecting, they’re often too provincial. Statements about ostracism and intolerance would register greater force if they were accompanied by a few more anecdotes from Dennis (or Robert or Ty, for that matter) about the blight of bigotry, the historical features of the gay rights movement, and the way this history informs the present. Reductionism is the most pervasive problem with cinéma vérité (“truthful” or observational cinema — the genre in which Before You Know It can be categorized). Its biggest strength is also its biggest weakness — while it dispenses with the veneer of a leading narrative, “expert” interviews, and infinitely malleable statistics, it also forecloses on any sort of argumentation and analysis.
Raval should have allocated more time to the social and political atmosphere of his subjects’ youth as well as the changing zeitgeist for LGBT individuals. There’s always a pesky sense that more could be said. Between the early-60s and now, the gay rights movement has blossomed more than ever before, and the film’s three subjects are the perfect reporters, given their dramatically different experiences and personalities. Do they feel that the last few years have brought the most dramatic change? If not, when? Even if Robert, Ty and Dennis didn’t participate in the social upheavals spurred by gay rights pioneers throughout the 20th century, they must have had visceral reactions to what was going on. For example, they were alive during the Stonewall riots in 1969 and the annual gay pride parades that followed. Ty even grew up in New York City, so the reverberations of Stonewall must have made their way to him. Although he briefly mentions this in the film, it’s treated as a side note when it would have made for a captivating chapter. A film about seniors should be retrospective — their emotions and experiences are intermingled with history, and this gives their perspectives incalculable value.
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