The description on the film’s Web site is a tantalizing look at these issues: “Born before the Civil Rights era, these men have witnessed unbelievable change in their lifetimes, from the Stonewall Riots and gay liberation, to the HIV/AIDS pandemic and Queer Nation, to gay marriage and Lady Gaga, and have lived to become part of an unprecedented ‘out’ elder generation.” Unfortunately, this historical continuum is conspicuously absent from the film, which devotes its energy to the (sometimes tedious) difficulties of daily life. The work Ty does for SAGE isn’t thoroughly examined, either, and the political context of the contemporary gay experience is left nearly untouched. These shortfalls will undoubtedly frustrate politically-minded viewers, especially considering the pivotal upheaval we’ve just witnessed — the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act (or DOMA).

Although Raval generally keeps the film apolitical, the institutionalization of gay marriage in New York and elsewhere is a recurring issue. Ty tells us, “I believe, with gay marriage, it’s only a matter of time. It’s going to be legal and it’s going to be the norm. It’s going to be a natural thing, a man to be with a man.” When he says this, his friend George looks politely incredulous, but Ty is undeterred, “You’ll see,” he says. Later in the film, as Ty and a number of others await a final decision on gay marriage from the New York State Senate, we hear Assemblyman Donald Miller expressing his reluctance to legalize it, “This bill, this vote is about marriage. And I am not prepared tonight to redefine that institution.” Dodgy rhetoric doesn’t constitute an argument, and the film would do well to redress it.

Minutes later, Ty is being interviewed about the prospect of an affirmative vote. Right as he says, “These are great times now. We can afford to take chances, we can afford to be vocal because I think the country is ready for this movement,” a cheer bursts out of the house behind him. The bill passed. Disappointingly, Ty doesn’t finish talking about why the country is ready for the maturation of the gay rights movement or what the next steps might be. The film apportions far more time to Ty’s personal life — we later find that the man he’s keen on marrying, his boyfriend Stanton, isn’t exactly amenable to the idea. Again, the men themselves are the subjects of this film and scant attention is paid to the political and historical context in which their lives are wrapped.

For all his bizarre idiosyncrasies, Robert is an inspiring example of inclusiveness. Unlike Dennis, he can seek refuge in the community that has grown around his bar, Robert’s Lafitte (“the oldest gay bar in the state of Texas!”). With sparkling blue and gold streamers glinting around a life-size cutout of Betty Boop in the background, Robert talks about his preferred clientele (which he calls “family”), “Everybody’s welcome…as long as you’re a lady or a gentleman. I don’t care if you’re gay or straight or bisexual, as long as you have fun!” Although this promiscuous little world of misfits is endearing, its essential tawdriness can’t be ignored. It’s also consistent with other unsavory quirks of the gay rights movement, such as “glitter bombing” and drag shows. Is it not possible that some gay folks prefer to tackle political opposition and discrimination with some measure of subtlety or seriousness? Even the “LGBT” designation is irksome because it lumps a diverse set of people into a weird, interchangeable box. And frankly, there are certain elements of the gay rights movement that could bear a thorough reexamination. The near-encouragement of gender modification surgery (an issue Raval addressed in Trinidad) and an over-emphasis on “shocking” behavior come to mind.

Dennis, with his penchant for dressing in women’s clothes, would be remarkably unremarkable on any random Saturday night at Robert’s Lafitte. One of the most interesting juxtapositions in the film is in full view a few minutes before Robert takes the stage. As he’s getting ready, two other drag queens are applying their makeup and effects next to him. Music pulsates over the hum of voices in the background and an array of brushes, powders and cans of beauty products are littered across the counter in front of them. Minutes later, Robert emerges, donning fatigues, clownishly colorful makeup and two prosthetic penises. Betty Boop watches politely and the crowd cheers as he scurries around, goop dripping from his nose-penis. This is all quite normal.

It’s difficult to reconcile this warm and inviting environment with the dingy loneliness often felt by Dennis. When he’s showing us around his home, he says, “I don’t know if you wanna see this or not…it’s a…closet.” He nervously glances at the cameraman with a faint smile, as if something utterly humiliating is lurking behind the door. Rather, it’s just full of women’s clothing — stuff that wouldn’t even warrant a few minutes on-stage at Robert’s Lafitte. Later, Dennis feels courageous enough to go out as Dee. There’s no music in the background as he lays out the clothes he’ll wear (a salmon turtleneck, a bra and pantyhose). There are no friends powdering up next to him as he applies his makeup. It’s a solitary walk to the bar where he lingers uncomfortably for a few minutes, briefly chats with someone named Candy and ends up dancing alone. If only he had a community of his own. Robert, on the other hand, is a fixture at his bar. He’s embraced and protected by the people he loves. The film flits from heartrending to heartwarming so abruptly that it leaves your emotions in knots.

The most moving interview takes place within the cheerless, moldy walls of Dennis’ home. He’s preparing to abandon a long, languid stretch of his life for what will hopefully be better times at Rainbow Vista. But the shadow of his mortality makes him reflective, “I doubt very much that my life had much impact on anybody or anything,” he says, “I had thought it would be different, but really, it’s a very ordinary life. I tried to do my best as I saw it. But there’s no outstanding legacy…no great inventions…no dragons slain.” He says that last bit with a chuckle.

But this is a man whose family abandoned him and whose very nature has been condemned and suppressed for decades. The world caught up with Dennis a few years too late. And although time has stripped much of his vigor, its left his humor and heart intact. He could so easily be swollen with contempt or hostility, but he isn’t, and neither are Robert and Ty. Grand themes are present in this film: unrequited love, the cruel decay of age, the insatiable need for community and companionship. All of these men have seen great civic and social convulsions in their lives, and they’ve been forced to spar with preconceptions and ignorance at every stage. They could be bitter and resentful in their final years, but they’re just the opposite. They’ve crossed the threshold of age with humor and grace, and this gives Before You Know It universal appeal.

Rating: 3 out of 4 stars.


Trailer Courtesy of “Before You Know It.”

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Featured image: Dennis, documentary subject from “Before You Know It” – a film by PJ Raval. Photo Credit: Mike Simpson.