‘Send Me Your Sexts’: Filmmaker Eileen Yaghoobian Wants To Turn Your Dirty Texts into Film Art
And to me, with that text, it just kind of came together that way: the location, filming it at night like that. But it doesn’t mean that that’s what it’s going to be all the time. I thought the Dylan and Kacey one had a nice combination of sex and text. But if you read the text for Dylan, which is on the Web site, nowhere does it say that there’s this great blonde girl there, but I just imagined that that would be the right thing. She appeared, and I think she did a great job. It worked out really well. That’s what I mean about the interpretation, it’s just a way of visualizing and making it work. Hopefully, the videos will work, and I hope to change them. It doesn’t mean that all of them are going to have sex in them. It just depends on what the text is saying.
What is defined as sexting anyway? There’s clinical sexting, where someone is actually macro-porn describing sex, like the act. You know, it’s like porn. Or someone’s just met someone, and [they’re] getting to know each other or something. I consider that sexting too. Some people were saying that sexting maybe should be more graphic. I mean, most people graphically sext, of course, but in Dylan and Kacey, it is graphic, but, I don’t know, it’s a little bit different. I will definitely be doing the graphic ones too, so we’ll see where those go. I think I have an idea about how I want to keep the sex surprising, and I want the videos to, hopefully, continue to be entertaining in some way. I think I’m documenting really what’s going on between those two characters in that one with Dylan and Kacey. Like, he’s f—ing someone else! And I love that car thing, you know. Cars are so hot. I think they were hotter before. I think cars now are not so hot.
GALO: What has the response been like, in terms of the number of sexts sent, public reaction, etc.? Also, what’s the craziest sext you’ve seen so far via this project?
EY: Well, it’s new. I just launched this thing, right? So, I started with my own group of people, as far as the idea coming to this, and people picking and choosing how I would launch this thing. What could be crazy sex when you think about all the porn that’s available?! I don’t know what could match it. Think about the sex world online, like what could we say is the “craziest” sex? You know, it’s kind of a weird question. I don’t know. They’re all good for me.
GALO: Well, for the Dylan and Kacey video, there was this whole thing with meat and hamburgers. It was crazy.
EY: Yeah, well, you know, some people are hamburgers…some people are meat! I don’t know…some people are steak! What you do with them is…up to you? But that’s the thing. The thing with sexting is that its people trying to communicate something to someone else, but it’s a very creative space. And that’s what’s exciting. I mean, if you have someone you’re sexting with regularly, you have to really get creative. You can’t really be like a robot, saying the same thing over and over again. I think it would get boring, right? So, I think that’s why hamburgers and steak come out of that. I mean, what’s interesting to me is that when people are sexting [they could be] buying milk, or whatever, or they’re mourning [someone’s death] — I don’t know what they’re doing. But mostly, probably, they’re not having sex. And that is what interests me.
GALO: I kind of want to see a video where someone’s doing that, maybe buying milk.
EY: Actually, that is the plan. It’s funny, I did a Q&A thing with another magazine, and I said that. I said that I really want to do a video like that, which will be happening. I mean, that was my first idea. But it didn’t work with Dylan and Kacey, so when the right text comes along, there will be some milk buying and spilling maybe.
GALO: I get the sense that Send Me Your Sexts says a great deal about current attitudes about personal privacy. What have you learned about privacy through this project thus far?
EY: I am a documentarian. That is very important. When I’m filming on location, I don’t want to film anyone who doesn’t want to be filmed. I’m not interested in anything like that. So, it’s the same here. It has to be anonymous, because the intent of the person submitting the sext, I don’t really know what it is and I don’t care. But it’s important that everyone’s anonymous because it’s better that way, more interesting. I think most people probably want to be anonymous. I mean, if someone wants to use their real name, they can talk to me. It says that in there, that they can talk to me and we can do that for them, if they want. But, basically, I assume that most people want to remain anonymous.
Some women’s writers were talking about it — they were comparing sexting to personal dignity or it being something to be shameful about, and I find that really strange, [as if] there’s something wrong with expressing oneself verbally. I mean, for some people, it’s really cheesy, funny. I think sexting is hilarious, personally. But I don’t think of sexting as something to be ashamed of. I find it so weird that some people think that it’s something to be embarrassed about. I have to say, I don’t understand what that is.
GALO: People seem to be more involved with sexual communication and open relationships, yet there also appears to be a huge public and moral outcry when celebrities and other notables are caught in intimate moments. Do you think society as a whole is becoming racier or more conservative?
EY: I think it has nothing to do with sexting. I think it has to do with the Internet culture that has offered a voice for people to speak whatever they want to speak about whenever. So, the Internet culture is this noise. It used to be that you thought you were anonymous on the Internet, but it looks like you’re not anymore. People are expressing their POV’s all the time, 24 hours a day. I think that people are open in general about everything, because they have a platform: the Internet. I mean, now you hear all kinds of s–t online, craziness, like their rants or raves. You know, you see those people who hate cats and post about it all the time. I’m just kidding, but you see all these angry people post these really crazy comments. You know what I’m talking about? The people who are constantly commenting on stuff. I think when you say people are more open about open relationships or whatever, sexting comes into that, but it’s a whole cultural thing.
And also because porn is such a huge thing, it’s so available now. It’s not the same as looking at this really amazing picture. It’s like excessive information. That’s like the idea of this Web site, because it’s kind of like going back and taking a really nice picture that’s thought out, which is actually really reflective, like it’s really amazing. I found that, even when I was doing theater, what was really amazing was to see things, to see — like for example, if you’re writing a script or something and then you see it acted out, there is something really amazing about that, right? And this is the same. To have your sext acted out is really amazing. I guess it doesn’t answer your question, but I don’t really know.
GALO: One of the reasons why I find the films so humorous is the fact that what’s said in the height of passion is often primal, uncontrolled and bizarre. What do you think Send Me Your Sexts will say about people’s behavior in love or passion? Are we more like our “true” selves during these moments?
EY: Well, that’s what I was saying. The choices people make and their choice of words to turn someone on is fascinating. That intent is so interesting because it is kind of narrow, right? I would think that most people sexting want to eventually have sex, or have had sex with that person and are continuing their fantasies. So, you don’t even know when someone’s sexting if they’ve ever had sex with that person or not. I don’t know…there’s so much. I mean that’s what’s exciting. And I can’t answer any of those precise questions because that’s what’s so wonderful about it.
GALO: So, you’re still learning, right?
EY: Not even learning, but I think it’s going to be an infinite thing of everything changing all the time. I think, in a way, it’s going to be different for everyone. Whoever sends me whatever text is going to be different from another person. And I can’t put a stamp on it — what it is or what it isn’t. And that’s what I like about it.
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