Science-Fiction

Best: Prometheus

Decades after he started the whole bloody affair, Ridley Scott came back to the Alien world with a vengeance. Sure, there’s still lots of gore in this quasi-prequel to the Nostromo’s first terrifying encounter with acid-blooded killing machines, but we also got to see the wonders of the universe, along with the horrors, as an exploratory crew discovers a planet which may hold the answers to humanity’s beginning. Genuine sci-fi should offer some semblance of truth to it, and the blend of intellectualism and entertainment made for one of the better rides of the summer. As long as we’re talking about aliens, let’s not forget Men in Black 3, which brought back Will Smith as Agent J, finally cool again, for a time-traveling jaunt to save a younger version of Agent K (Josh Brolin). Who had money on Andy Warhol (Bill Hader) being an undercover agent?

Worst: The Watch

As far as stories of otherworldly invaders, Battleship was bad, but this was worse. Shortening its title from “Neighborhood Watch” in light of the Trayvon Martin shooting was like yelling “Iceberg!” right before the Titanic broke in half. The tale of suburbanites on the lookout for aliens incognito proved a huge waste of talent for Ben Stiller, Jonah Hill, Vince Vaughn, and Richard Ayoade as the quartet who go out hunting for suspicious activity, but the only iffy thing about the whole scenario is the lack of laughs from a script by Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg and Jared Stern. Stick that in your flavor snout…

Sequel, Prequel, Midquel or Remake

Best: The Avengers

While The Dark Knight Rises, Prometheus, The Bourne Legacy and Men in Black 3 were undoubtedly fine continuations of single storylines, only one blockbuster this year amounted to the combined sequel for four different franchises. Besides creating a whole new escapade for Iron Man (Robert Downey, Jr.), Captain America (Chris Evans), Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), director Joss Whedon took things to the next level for a slam-bang superhero saga that should prove to be a whole new project for years to come, as well as a glowing endorsement for the acquired taste that is shawarma. Marvel Comics also got a new shot in the arm with the reboot of The Amazing Spider-Man, proving that five years after the last movie may be a tad soon to flip things around, but as long as it’s done right, the fanboys will approve. ‘Nuff said.

Worst: Total Recall

We certainly didn’t need another Ice Age, even if the fourth installment was reasonably funny, and no lovers of the Dark Shadows TV show thought it needed to be reimagined as a comedy, although Johnny Depp made it bearable. What nobody wanted was a redo of the ultraviolent 1990 actioner, and that’s before or after seeing the new version, which diverged from both the original movie and the Philip K. Dick short story that inspired it. One attractive new feature is “The Fall,” a transport tube that shoots directly to the center of the Earth between England and Australia, but every other element — excluding the three-breasted hooker — is a pathetic alteration of something that didn’t need changing, especially when so many other movies of the last 20 years have already borrowed from it. As if it needed to be said, Colin Farrell has nothing on Arnie as an average guy who is awakened to previous memories of his life as a freedom fighter, and Kate Beckinsale needs to just stop it with the whole leather-clad mega-assassin bit.

Pleasant Surprises:

That’s My Boy

Even for a fervent Adam Sandler fan, like myself, trailers for his movies these days do little more than cause you to wonder: “How low has he sunk this time?” Even so, the Sandman delighted me with his return to the raunchy/sweet mixture that hits the taste buds like fried chicken and syrup-soaked waffles. Unlike the family-friendly Jack and Jill, that naughty yet nice feeling was true to form in this telling of tabloid sensation Donny Berger (Adam Sandler), whose star has dimmed years after knocking up his grade school teacher (Eva Amurri Martino) and milking fame for all it’s worth. His last chance for a quick buck is his soon-to-be-married estranged son (Andy Samberg), who’s a mess of neuroses thanks to horrible parenting, starting with his birth name: Han Solo. Chaos ensues, everybody hugs at the end. Once again, this is the Sandler formula you either love or despise, but at least it works, with perhaps the only good acting job Vanilla Ice will ever have. Plus, if you know who Eva Amurri Martino’s mom is, then you’re in for a nice surprise toward the end.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting

Honestly, what I was expecting was another He’s Just Not That Into You, packed with an all-star cast and devoid of any real substance in trying to bring a self-help book to life. Having never read Heidi Murkoff’s bible for people with babies on the way, I can’t say how close the film version is to the source material, but a worthy comic cast really delivers in the mosaic that covers everything from adoption to miscarriage to the delivery room and usually manages to maintain its sweet nature, despite an opener that involves vomit. Even after last year’s Bridesmaids, few movies give women a chance to shine in terms of comedy, but Elizabeth Banks, Cameron Diaz, Anna Kendrick, Jennifer Lopez, and Brooklyn Decker are some pretty funny mamas, while up-and-comer Rebel Wilson delights as Banks’ clueless assistant.

Coulda Been Much Better:

Hit & Run

Given all the hype surrounding this B-movie before its release, I thought we were being clued into the discovery of a hidden gem well in advance. Remind me to disregard such hyperbole, even from my closest friends. I’ll admit, Dax Shepard’s adventures on the open road as he escorts girlfriend Kristen Bell to a job interview with his former bank robber partner (Bradley Cooper) tracking him down does kind of have a witty feel about it, but the tank soon empties as Dax and company engage in one car chase after another. It’s part romantic comedy, part crime caper, part excuse for Shepard to show his love for old, revamped cars, yet it never gets particularly interesting, and even Cooper’s ridiculous hair doesn’t improve things. Although, for those who are curious about when it’s acceptable to use the word “fag,” this may be very helpful.

To Rome with Love

The bright side of this Woody Allen comedy is that, judging by his pattern in the last decade, his next movie should be great. The downside is the movie itself. By any other filmmaker’s standards, this Italian-set grouping of romances would be at least OK, but this isn’t Woody’s best work by a long shot. Besides the structuring, with overlapping plot points that don’t mesh together at all, there are precious few moments of hilarity in the grand Allen style, save those he reserves for himself, playing a musical director who tries to rethink the classical opera format with disastrous results. Maybe it’s unfair to expect another Midnight in Paris, but this sampling of life in Italia for natives and tourists has a very Mediterranean quality: so easy-going that it has nothing to say.

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